A Summary of Trump's Executive Orders and the Hilarious 'Preschool Apprentice'

Donald Trump is back in charge, and he promises to usher in a Golden Age for America

Karen Hunt aka KH Mezek

Jan 22, 2025

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We all need a good laugh right about now, so let me introduce you to the Preschool Apprentice, comedian Noah Ryan who hilariously portrays Donald Trump as a pushy yet endearing kindergarten kid. Here’s a little quote from the video below of the Preschool Apprentice excitedly talking about he’s been chosen “line leader supremist—that’s like the emperor, okay”.

“I used to be the line leader and then they made Sleepy Joe the line leader and that was so bad, you never seen worst lines… I had a great line… And now I’m back. I love lines. We’re gonna make lines great again, quite frankly, but irregardless, regurgitative…”

Just double click on the photo below to have a good laugh:

noahryancomedy

A post shared by @noahryancomedy

Donald Trump is back in charge, and he says we are entering the Golden Age of America.

Below are all the executive orders Trump signed on Monday. Click here to see the complete list of his Day 1 executive actions.

Yep, we’ve come a long way since Trump told voters he wants to “do away with executive orders.”

Securing our Borders

One of the most important promises Trump made was to close the borders, and he did. This proved crucial to his winning of the election, since it was one of the few points that brought Republican and Democrat together. Where once AOC got away with crying scenes at the southern border (ah, the good ol’ daze), people finally had enough and began to see through the charade.

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Because, you know, you aren’t racist if you simply want people to come into the country legally. I have some liberal friends who were fed up, one friend in particular who is a very successful professional and waited years to get his citizenship, and recognized it as ridiculous and unfair that anyone, criminals, drug dealers, could come across the border illegally and get aid that was never offered to him as he struggled through hard work to become successful.

We will see a lot of sad stories in the media about good people from war-torn, violent countries who faced hardship to reach the border and are now being turned away. And, yes, it’s sad, however, as a nation, we have enough of our very own sad stories that we have been ignoring to our detriment, such as the fentanyl crisis, exacerbated by open borders.

Here’s the New York Times telling one of those stories of one group who still tried to make a desperate and perilous last-ditch effort to cross into the United States. You can watch it in this video:

I remember writing about the planeloads of underage illegal migrants being flown secretly to locations throughout the United States, being dropped off…and then what? I would like to know what happened to those children.

White House press secretary Jen Psaki confirmed reporting by the New York Post that the Biden administration had been quietly flying underage illegal immigrants from the border to New York in the dead of night.

There were multiple witnesses, such as former Westchester County Executive Rob Astorino who detailed in a news conference, he held at the airport that he saw a flight arrive with at least 50 to 70 migrants, most of whom appeared to be men older than 20. Where are those men now?

Withdrawal from the World Health Organization (WHO)

President Donald Trump formally withdrew the United States from the World Health Organization (WHO), saying the far-reaching pandemic monitoring organization had "ripped off" the U.S.

Trump tried to withdraw during his last presidency and didn’t succeed, but things are very different now. His last presidency saw Trump stymied every step of the way. Now, it would seem everyone from tech oligarchs to foreign leaders wants to get on his good side.

The text of the executive order describes an "unfair" demand of "onerous payments from the United States, far out of proportion with other countries' assessed payments."

"China, with a population of 1.4 billion, has 300 percent of the population of the United States, yet contributes nearly 90 percent less to the WHO," the executive order said.

Among other executive orders:

There are only two genders, male and female. President Trump signed an executive order declaring the federal government will only recognize "two sexes, male and female," reversing the ability of Americans to mark "other" or "X" on federal forms and causing sweeping implications in the way the federal government acknowledges gender.
Withdrawal from the Paris Climate Agreement. Trump’s order says the Paris accord is among a number of international agreements that don’t reflect U.S. values and “steer American taxpayer dollars to countries that do not require, or merit, financial assistance in the interests of the American people.”
Trump dismantles all diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) initiatives within the federal government.
"The previous administration has embedded deeply unpopular, inflationary, illegal, and radical practices within every agency and office of the Federal Government," the order states.
The order accuses DEI initiatives of “replacing hard work, merit, and equality with a divisive preferential hierarchy, and also criticizes climate policies, claiming they contributed to inflation and overburdened businesses with regulation.”
Trump "restores freedom of speech and ends federal censorship."
"Over the last 4 years, the previous administration trampled free speech rights by censoring Americans' speech on online platforms, often by exerting substantial coercive pressure on third parties, such as social media companies, to moderate, de-platform, or otherwise suppress speech that the Federal Government did not approve," the White House said on Monday.
"Under the guise of combatting 'misinformation,' 'disinformation,' and 'malinformation,' the Federal Government infringed on the constitutionally protected speech rights of American citizens across the United States in a manner that advanced the Government's preferred narrative about significant matters of public debate. Government censorship of speech is intolerable in a free society," the White House added.
In a proclamation titled “Granting Pardons And Commutation Of Sentences For Certain Offenses Relating To The Events At Or Near The United States Capitol On January 6, 2021,” Trump pardoned all his supporters who were criminally charged in the Jan. 6, 2021, except for 14 individuals, for whom he commuted the sentences to time served. He also ordered the dismissal of all pending indictments related to Jan. 6. The sweeping clemency directive is believed to cover over 1,500 defendants.

Among what I would deem the least controversial, is the Designation of Cartels And Other Organizations As Foreign Terrorist Organizations And Specially Designated Global Terrorists.

Who wouldn’t want to see the harshest crackdown possible imposed on international cartels which “constitute a national-security threat beyond that posed by traditional organized crime, with activities encompassing.”

A mixed bag is the RESTORING NAMES THAT HONOR AMERICAN GREATNESS, which states:

It is in the national interest to promote the extraordinary heritage of our Nation and ensure future generations of American citizens celebrate the legacy of our American heroes. The naming of our national treasures, including breathtaking natural wonders and historic works of art, should honor the contributions of visionary and patriotic Americans in our Nation’s rich past.

You’d think this would be a uniting order, since it returns a sense of pride to our nation, especially thinking back to the BLM riots and all the statues and monuments that were desecrated. However, some of Trump’s changes are highly controversial.

Trump plans to return Denali, the Alaska Native name for North America’s tallest peak, to its earlier name, Mount McKinley. The mountain’s original name Denali was given by the native Koyukon Athabascan people thousands of years ago.

Trump also wants to rename the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America and anyone might wonder what gives the president of the United States the right to do that. Although, if you think about it, he isn’t saying it should be named the Gulf of the United States, so… he’s effectively giving it back to all of the Americas. Still, is that his decision and his alone to make?

Why Trump is so Determination to Buy Greenland

One of the developments that I am looking at with great interest is Trump’s determination to buy Greenland and whether or not it will pan out. I actually do think he will be successful one way or the other.

THE ARCTIC REGION HAS THE POTENTIAL TO IGNITE WORLD WAR III

Greenland is strategically placed since the Finnmark region of Norway and adjacent Russian territory have become one of the most likely battlegrounds for the first use of nuclear weapons in any future NATO-Russian conflict.

According to Rebekah Koffler, an intelligence analyst and author of Putin’s Playbook: Russia’s Secret Plan to Defeat America:

The distance between Russia and NATO countries in the Arctic has been reduced to about 100 miles. And everyone is posturing for dominance. The US Army says we’re going to dominate the region, but the Russians have their own strategy. They’re screaming that they’re going to be the only non-NATO country in the Arctic Group. And China has joined the fight. They’re trying to tap into the Arctic as a major shipping route.
Like the Suez Canal of old, whoever controls the route will control an essential artery of the reshaped capitalist world economy. And, like the Suez, the Great Power scramble is turning into a growing military presence that threatens future conflict.
While claiming to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, the global shipping industry is responsible for over a billion tons of greenhouse-gas emissions each year, about 3% of the world’s total. This will only increase that amount.

The Arctic’s 3 million square miles of eternal frost is at last revealing its treasures.

We hear repeatedly how bad the melting ice is for the environment and how countries must come together to protect the delicately balanced Arctic ecosystem.

What we never hear is how the last thing powerful elites want is to stop the ice from melting.

According to the U.S. Geological Survey, “The Arctic is estimated to harbor over 90 billion barrels of oil reserves, 30 percent of the world’s untapped natural gas, and around one trillion dollars’ worth of rare earth minerals, ranging from gold and silver to beryllium, cadmium and lithium”.

The Arctic is going to be the future battlefield for economic dominance and possession of natural resources.

A company called KoBold Metals has received backing from Andreessen Horowitz and Breakthrough Energy Ventures, a multibillion-dollar funding vehicle created by Microsoft cofounder Gates and seeded by Bezos, Bloomberg, Ray Dalio, David Rubenstein, Jack Ma, Reid Hoffman, and Sir Richard Branson to search for rare earth minerals in Greenland.

It’s a mockery to claim that such mining is part of a clean energy strategy, but that’s what they try to do. Cobalt mining produces radioactive emissions, cancer-causing particles, and particles which may cause vision problems, vomiting and nausea, heart problems, and Thyroid damage. In addition, mineral mining produces pollution that leaches into neighboring rivers and water sources. Dust from pulverized rock is known to cause breathing problems for local communities as well.

Charlie Angus, who wrote a history of Cobalt, had some unpleasant things to say about these billionaires and their do-good hypocrisy to Popular Mechanics:

The image of the billionaires Gates, Bezos, and Bloomberg digging out the fragile and disappearing ice shields of the planet in order to gain more wealth is a perfect symbol for our dystopian times. Cobalt may play a role in the transition to a clean energy economy, but the exploitation of these resources have had serious environmental and human rights impacts. The name of their company literally means ‘demon metals.’ I wonder if they are aware of the dark and troubling mythologies associated with the metal and the Kobold demons.

Certainly, I will have more to say on these orders and I will be watching them closely, along with ones I haven’t mentioned, such as returning the Panama Canal to the United States. We will see how much weight these goals of President Trump hold as time goes on.

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