Thank you for your comment. I'm very sorry for your stepmother. My niece suffered a very hard thing at age 2, when her father abandoned her and my sister. I mean physically abandoned, gone from the scene. At age 2, old enough to walk and talk. As long as I live I will never forget her toddling over to me, arms raised, to tell me "My Dadd…
Thank you for your comment. I'm very sorry for your stepmother. My niece suffered a very hard thing at age 2, when her father abandoned her and my sister. I mean physically abandoned, gone from the scene. At age 2, old enough to walk and talk. As long as I live I will never forget her toddling over to me, arms raised, to tell me "My Daddy gone", her eyes expressing how puzzled she was. Both my father and my mother lost their mothers at that age. It is a devastating trauma (particularly loss of the mother) that shapes the rest of one's life. Something that cannot be repaired. Hard for me to even think about.
I'm so sad to hear this! The amount of damage inflicted by male abandonment is incalculable and has happened to all women (and a lot of men).
I guess my grandson was around 14 (now 23) when my son left his first family and the effect devastated his life and included a massive weight gain. Fortunately he lost it all after puberty.
And now my son (whom I GAVE UP for adoption but met when he was 17) is on the verge of leaving his second family and second child, my 9 yr old granddaughter!
Like your grandson, my neice also sought "love" through overeating. You know, the 1960s counterculture and the sexual revolution came along, so liberating, or so many of us believed, rid of all those "hangups"of prior generations. We were more advanced. I grew up Catholic, at a time when a divorce was a serious scandal. But then there was freedom. Divorce an everyday thing. Cannot tell you how long it took me to understand, after I put myself through life's wringer, a ton of self-inflicted harm to the soul, shameful things, that there were very good reasons for social mores and religious traditions that called for things like chastity until marriage, condemned promiscuity and many things. Ancient traditions. Understood that those people so long ago were not just "spoilsports" :) and prudish. They knew from hard experience that certain behaviors if widespread can actually destroy civilizations. But we humans are not great at learning from the past, are we? I admire your honesty and openness, and wish you and your loved ones all the best!
Forgot to mention that both of my parents died young and mum had died of a protracted breast cancer battle right before I had sex for the first time and forgot to use a condom! ARGH.
Well with the loss of your parents so early in life, you faced an uphill road right from the start, didn't you? I could tell you about choices I made, things I did as a young man, shameful things ... suffice to say, you have lots of company. What saved me finally is belief in the power of prayer. I pray for the dead and for forgiveness of the unforgiveable things I did. I even pray for those who do evil, though it is very very hard. Only the mercy of God saved me from falling down and staying down. Bless you!
Thank you for your comment. I'm very sorry for your stepmother. My niece suffered a very hard thing at age 2, when her father abandoned her and my sister. I mean physically abandoned, gone from the scene. At age 2, old enough to walk and talk. As long as I live I will never forget her toddling over to me, arms raised, to tell me "My Daddy gone", her eyes expressing how puzzled she was. Both my father and my mother lost their mothers at that age. It is a devastating trauma (particularly loss of the mother) that shapes the rest of one's life. Something that cannot be repaired. Hard for me to even think about.
I'm so sad to hear this! The amount of damage inflicted by male abandonment is incalculable and has happened to all women (and a lot of men).
I guess my grandson was around 14 (now 23) when my son left his first family and the effect devastated his life and included a massive weight gain. Fortunately he lost it all after puberty.
And now my son (whom I GAVE UP for adoption but met when he was 17) is on the verge of leaving his second family and second child, my 9 yr old granddaughter!
WITAF!?!?! Life is so farked up for everyone! <3
Like your grandson, my neice also sought "love" through overeating. You know, the 1960s counterculture and the sexual revolution came along, so liberating, or so many of us believed, rid of all those "hangups"of prior generations. We were more advanced. I grew up Catholic, at a time when a divorce was a serious scandal. But then there was freedom. Divorce an everyday thing. Cannot tell you how long it took me to understand, after I put myself through life's wringer, a ton of self-inflicted harm to the soul, shameful things, that there were very good reasons for social mores and religious traditions that called for things like chastity until marriage, condemned promiscuity and many things. Ancient traditions. Understood that those people so long ago were not just "spoilsports" :) and prudish. They knew from hard experience that certain behaviors if widespread can actually destroy civilizations. But we humans are not great at learning from the past, are we? I admire your honesty and openness, and wish you and your loved ones all the best!
Forgot to mention that both of my parents died young and mum had died of a protracted breast cancer battle right before I had sex for the first time and forgot to use a condom! ARGH.
Well with the loss of your parents so early in life, you faced an uphill road right from the start, didn't you? I could tell you about choices I made, things I did as a young man, shameful things ... suffice to say, you have lots of company. What saved me finally is belief in the power of prayer. I pray for the dead and for forgiveness of the unforgiveable things I did. I even pray for those who do evil, though it is very very hard. Only the mercy of God saved me from falling down and staying down. Bless you!