60 Comments

Interesting piece. FWIW, I don't know a single man who finds Lauren Sanchez sexy or alluring, much less "The Ideal." Then again, men who might very likely have other opinions or character traits that would repel me long before I discovered their desire for such a woman, so who knows?

In any case, she's as gross as her husband; they are a combo Sign O' The Times, in both the same way and different ways.

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That's what I would hope men would say! Thank you! And I do think most rational men would agree. It's these fake images of men and women, this distortion of truth that is being foisted upon us. Especially the younger generation. It's a constant brainwashing. Ugh.

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Only a man with serious problems would be attracted to a woman like that. What's he trying to prove?

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You'd think the second richest man in the world wouldn't have anything to prove 🙄

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He knows what he is, he can't avoid it; nor escape it. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

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I have often wondered what alien archaeologists will think of human remains with deflated silicon bags in the chest! Reserve milk tanks?

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oh my goodness.😂

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Whenever I see pictures of Lauren Sanchez, I think of Anne Boleyn. How it is probably amazing for awhile to live at that level, but also exhausting. The things she must do and say and be to keep his attention, a man that can have anything or anyone in the world he wants. Her life appears glamorous, but I wonder if it is also terrifying.

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I'm sure you're right. I had some insights into this world when I started and was president of InsideOUT Writers in juvenile hall. The women in this world, married to powerful men, are not free. I gave up that world because I couldn't stand it.

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Gosh, Karen, this article makes me realize how out of touch I am with "society". I had never heard of Lauren Sanchez, and only scant knowledge of those other plastic excuses for women.

I laughed about the reporter who thinks Sanchez is having such a good time. A good time that requires hours to maintain and update that image? Ridiculous. An she's intelligent too? Wow.

The saddest part is these caricatures of women are on some sort of pedestal in parts of society. I do pity them, but couldn't stand to be in their presence because we would never have a conversation as there is no common ground. Thank God.

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You haven't missed much! 😂 But as you say, the sad thing is they are held up on a pedestal. And yes, she is in a prison of her own making. A gilded cage but a prison none the less.

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I am right there with you! I don’t pay attention to these fake, plastic women and frankly it’s so obvious! Kardashians are disgusting and dysfunctional!! It’s real easy to tell when these women had all this work done! Bezos is evil and she isn’t any better. I grew up with a natural good figure and it was sickening how men acted. The same before I was even an adult!! I had to fend off these predators who thought nothing about putting the moves on a 15 or 16 year old! One was a boyfriend’s relative!! Fortunately when I told my boyfriend and his brother of what he did, it didn’t end well for him!!! Plus I was at their home babysitting his brothers young children!!! How despicable!!! Frankly I would dress to down play my figure so I didn’t call attention to it and get these unwarranted advances! I had several bosses and co-workers make moves and had to address that and I always dressed very conservatively!!! It wasn’t fun at all!!!

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It's awesome when men stand up for women. I'm glad you had that experience of men standing up for you.

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Yes, I was fortunate to have them in my life! I grew up a Tom boy and had good men friends who I was more like a sister than a friend since they didn’t have one! They were always respectful and never let anyone mess with me! It was nice having them by my side for many years!

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I had a double mastectomy and my best friend (who has size A breasts) came with me. I told the plastic surgeon that that was the size I wanted. He looked sort of disgusted and said “no you don’t “. He proceeded, under anesthesia and against my wishes and knowledge, to put in bigger ones. I made him take them out which required another darn surgery!!!

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Wow, I can't believe it. Thank God for plastic surgery in a situation like yours. 🙏 But just wow, I hope you sued him!

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No I didn’t. More surgery fixed it (sort of). He has since passed away.

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Sounds like you've been through a lot. Glad you're okay.

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I enjoyed this piece. I remember watching Sophia Loren in her films and she was incredibly attractive and sensual. As a young girl I wanted to be her . NOW it's all surgery yet I don't believe the women are as sensual. Watch a Sophia LOren movie in mixed company and you will know! THere is always a "who is she?" even from young women.

In comparing the west to the middle east - take a look at the men allowed into women's spaces. They are caricatures of women. We are losing the true spirit of a woman - the true nature. We are nothing more than heels , lipstick, and purses. We will have nothing of our own soon. Isn't that what women have been doing? Haven't we been trying to be men for years? I want equality as a woman not a woman trying to be man.

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Exactly! When I would say to men that I wanted equality, they would always say, so you want to be just like men, or, so you want to be a man. I'd say, no, I want to be a women, just as I am, what I want are the same rights. They never could understand that. They couldn't see that a woman had the same 'value' (if that's the right word) as a man unless she actually was a man. Very frustrating. Thankfully not all men think like this and I've since, in later life, found more men that understand.

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Your article was cathartic for me. My oldest daughter resorted to breast implants to get on the San Diego Chargers cheerleader squad. It worked for her, but not her first husband. Now, she's living like the California princess her mother always wanted for her with her second husband. Embracing the shallowness of that superficial culture has its apparent rewards. Sad to see IMHO.

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I think Jeff Bezos' ex wife is much prettier than Sanchez. She is a naturally beautiful woman. I'm a Latina and I think Sanchez plastic surgery is just too much. I am not a believer in plastic surgery, especially on the face. I plan on growing old gracefully, and if anyone doesn't want to look at me, then look away. But my husband loves me the way I am, and I love me, so I'm happy with me. But that's just my opinion about Sanchez, carry on!!

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You packed a punch in this essay. The Rihanna image is beyond gross. She should try doing that in a burka and see how it goes. Nuns did have to wear habits, and I understand why they wanted to be free of them. While that may seem oppressive, these women created their own societies away from men and were self-sufficient. An academic piece wrote about how important the Church was in helping recent immigrants assimilate into the US during the late 19th and early 20th centuries. His generalization was in error. It was the women - nuns -who were instrumental in setting up education and hospitals for the poor. My grandmothers pulled together families where the men were weakened by drink and hard, dangerous work. These are examples of real women. The Kardashians of the world are caricatures of women in much the same way men who pretend they are women are. I also have little use for women like Katherine Maher who mock and wish to destroy Western culture. Like an awful teenager, they don't get that the Judeo-Christian concept uplifted women. The norm became one man and one woman in marriage even for kings. Henry VIII had to think up lies to get rid of his wives. The whole concept of God going through a woman, having them as followers, and appearing to them after rising from the dead elevated the true nature of women. What we have now is a degradation.

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Don't know what happened to my comment. I just said: so well said! Thank you!

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Your work is incredible. I follow it and some other great women who are calling out other women for their destructive behavior. Evolutionary biologist, Heather Heying, believes language started with women to communicate the location of edible plants. That got me thinking that maybe that is where women developed the strong 'grudge' trait. If a plant is going to kill your family, one better hold a grudge against it. So instead of being embarrassed by this trait, I think we should embrace it as an important evolutionary instinct but one that can turn detrimental if not deadly. I have no idea if I am correct, but I like the spin. Are you doing boxing classes in Tarzana for women?

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Interesting thought. In juvenile hall the staff always said they preferred breaking up fights between boys than between girls. The boys fought more often but when they did, you could intervene and they'd pay attention and stop. The girls, on the other hand, once they started fighting with each other, they would fight to the death of they could, nothing could tear them apart lol. So the grudge factor is something to think about.

I haven't taught at Tarzana Boxing for a number of years. When new owners took over who didn't know what they were doing, I walked out. Last I heard they had closed down. I don't teach much now, although I taught for a bit at my friend Thor's gym in Thousand Oaks, it's called The Pugilist Gym. But I travel too much now to keep it up. I will do seminars sometimes in different locations where I happen to be.

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In HS girl fights were way more fun to watch than guy fights. Vicious!

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I worked as a substitute teacher years ago. The principal told me the same thing. He could break up the fights with boys and they would be friends the next day. With girls, he would need to watch all year long. A buddy and I were discussing this topic the other day. He told me that many of his childhood friends came after fighting. I thought about Vietnam vets going back to Vietnam and interfacing with their former enemy. My friend says there is a mutual respect that emerges after I fight. This ability must have an evolutionary benefit. And our holding a grudge, never forgetting, must be as well.

Hopefully someday I can catch one of your seminars.

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Remembering The Stepford Wives. These celebrity women are part of a system which leads to destruction. They don't even realise it. Sad.

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The Stepford Wives is a perfect comparison

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I had another thought. The trans industry feeds that same fetish. And we wonder how we arrived at this destination.

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Interesting and very thought-provoking essay, for one thing I think the onus is on society to celebrate natural femininity and motherhood again both in fiction and in regular discourses. For ex; we should celebrate women like say Octavia from Ancient Rome who cared for the children of her brother's political enemies, and whom was the ideal mother. Just as we should celebrate heroic female icons like Jehanne D'Arc to use another example of a heroic lady from history.

With regards to literature, I would say female characters like Brynhildr, Eowyn, Zenobia and Valeria all come to mind, but we writers of fantasy fiction (amongst other genres) have to start writing better female characters, ones more akin to those of traditional literature, from days past. Write characters who can inspire, so that people will ask themselves not; 'what Sanchez' would do but 'what would Eowyn do' or 'Rose Gamgee do'.

I think you've hit on something important here; girls are starved for role-models just as much as men are, and this is why we're facing a HUGE female crisis in the West; women have no one to look up to, no one of any sincere and genuine character to admire. They need new icons, new symbols to rally around just as men do, so for us fiction-writers we must write classic mythical figures, ones to inspire. At the same time that men and women need to work harder to serve as better role-models for our children.

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You're absolutely right. Parents and grandparents need to pass stories on to their children like they used to in the old days. My mom was a Mennonite and could trace our family back to the 1600s. She told us stories of our courageous ancestors who stood up against persecution. When I was a child my family traveled to world so my dad, Dave Hunt, could gain inspiration for his books, he was a Christian writer. We had so many adventures, like smuggling Bibles behind the Iron Curtain. When I had my own kids at night I would tell them the stories of our family, adding on my own childhood adventures. There are so many inspiring women who have done courageous things down through history. Children need a connection to the past, a strong foundation. Now I write those stories here in the hopes that they will inspire someone. And a legacy for my children and grandchildren.

Do you write fantasy books? I've written a YA series called Night Angles Chronicles, still trying to finish the 4th book in the series. The main character is a strong girl. What you say is really important.

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Boycott Amazon, or her boobs will explode. No really, imagine being married to a guy who treats his employees like crap while he builds rockets, literally. Ickky man.

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I know. I have some things to say about Amazon, just haven't gotten around to writing it yet. Maybe I should do that next.

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It's a real pain to avoid giving them money but I think it's well worth it. Please yes a post on that!

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I generally try to tune out rich and famous weirdness but this was an interesting compare and contrast of different cultural manifestations of the ‘men as subject’ ‘women as object’ orientation/problem state in the world.

Silvia’s piece uncannily echoes my own experience growing up.

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Yes. I learned so much from the girls in juvenile hall. Mostly, that despite outward appearance, we were much the same in what we had experienced as girls. It was an enlightening experience.

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Serious question: is Lauren Sanchez a woman?

Usually when someone has to work that hard to look feminine … that means they are not …

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Haha, I really don't know.

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I'm sure I'll probably provoke some controversy,but that's not the purpose of my comments,so people must write what they write.I'm seventy two years of age,was married to the same woman for over thirty years when she left me,and was left very confused and bereft.i learned the real meaning of a broken heart,and what physical damage such trauma can do.i won't play the injured party to milk sympathy,but I think it gave me a perspective which might be relevant. I never thought I had all the answers,never thought I knew aperson inside out and certainly never thought i was the perfect spouse,but I didn't think I was such a bad person either.

I always respected women,I don't honestly think I ever deliberately abused anyone,and I miss female companionship as much now as I did after my 'loss'.What I'm trying,probably clumsily,to say,is that men even the decent ones have a hard time in today's society knowing how to behave even when trying to do the right thing.it seems we can't win,and the more we try,the worse the outcomes.in the end some of us stip trying and resign ourselves to the fact that it just isn't worth the effort.I abhor violence and oppression of women,but I think women have to take responsibility for their behaviour too.there are alot of decent men out there who have lost trust and faith in a happy outcome,and willnot make the first move for fevar of being humiliated and hurt. I'm one of them.

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I'm so sorry to hear of your experience. You are not alone in that regard. I get it how men feel this way. I've never been one to mind things like men on the street whistling as a woman goes by. There's a great short video of Sophia Loren from a movie, sashaying down the street in Rome or somewhere and all the men are whistling and she's self-confident and enjoying herself.

Everyone takes things to an extreme now and that gets confusing for everyone. I know there are plenty of good men out there.

In my writing I'm not on the side of men or of women. Both men and women need to be held accountable for their actions when they cross the line. We are being forced into extreme positions and this essay shows how it is happening.

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Yes! Growing up in Italy I saw the men catcalling the wimmin, but it was flattering, not insulting. My mother's Los Angeles friend used to chase the men and hit them with her purse that had a rock inside of it. She was a hot American womun, wearing belly button bell bottom pants; bleached blonde; curvy. We were told to dress modestly, wear dresses, but she did not comply. She stirred things up and then lashed out with her purse. What a shame that was, because I saw the Italian customs as mutually respectful and loving. The men appreciated feminine beauty out loud, but they never chased or touched because that would be rude. It breaks my heart that my generation was thrown into the world without the protection of a loving culture. I could tell you stories!

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I think this Miz Sanchez is more like the ideal western omelet! (they threw in jus'bout everythin' in the kitchen but the sink itself an' present her as a "dish" ta be consumed by the public)--I'd say the "ideal" "Western Woman" might be Annie Oakley--gal could shoot, entertain, survived adversity (an' libel too!) many times over, worked hard all her life (settin' sharpshootin' records over the age of 60!), kept a happy marriage (childless but not sure if it wuz by choice), spent all her money on charities an' her fambly (cuz "ya can't take it with you!") --an' tho' she wuz from Ohio, she indeed carried on what I think is the "real spirit" of the American West! plucky, scrappy, capable an' not willin' ta stay down when yer kicked (by horse or human). (Also she had glamorous days where she dressed up fer the "show"--all 5 feet of her!--an' most days in buckskin!--gotta love that!)

I think it's SO interestin' yer teachin' BOTH writin' an' boxin' skills ta these girls (not the same group but still!)--a sound mind and a sound body as they say--that's whut feeds the spirit an' fosters strength, confidence, resilience. Sophia Loren had all've them qualities that count! (an' natch'ral beauty too--an' talent!) -- I admire her greatly as I do many of our past "icons" that were worth lookin' up to--not this laffin' stock of a lady omelet (looks like she's sellin' balloons--I sure hope fer her sake they don't pop!)

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Love your choice of Annie Oakley!

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